For every new Secret Knots comic I make a Patreon exclusive post with sources, references and bits of world building, including ideas that were left only as background concepts. This is the dossier for the comic “Another Lydia”.
Inspiration
This story was inspired, in a very straightforward way, by real life. I was offered a graphic design job on an interesting project, one that would only last for half a year. It looked attractive to me in several ways, but the frequency of necessary meetings meant that I had to leave my steady day job, which is also in graphic design, although not that stimulating. I opted for safety, to the complaints of my anxious brain: “Boring!” It seemed to say. “Take risks! Be bold!”, like a motivational coach in an advertisement. So, like Lydia in the comic, I kept wondering for a while what that life would have looked like, if I had taken that choice.
In the story, Lydia creates a living shadow, an anxiety tulpa, that she ends up meeting in the real world. The double is living the path she didn’t take. Several readers have commented that they expected a dark outcome of this, which is not strange considering most doppelgänger stories are about the eeriness of the other following our steps: an impostor, a potential replacement. But I kept thinking about this encounter more like in the vein of some “meeting with a younger self” comics I’ve seen. Lydia 1 gets to know about how the work is going, which is highly creative and demanding, but Lydia 2 is also having some medical issues. Maybe these two facts are related?
They spend the afternoon in the park, which made me think of a few funny conversations, so for the sake of keeping on point, I left that as a silent sequence, where they watch dogs and eat ice cream. I enjoy montage in comics. In a way, it’s kind of the perfect medium for them. In the end, Lydia compliments her twin’s optic glasses, so they exchange them.
The glasses thing was a way out of the story: for a small final spin, I tried to create a brief notion that it had all been a daydream (in Lydia 1’s mind). But then she puts the new glasses she was given, informing us that, as in the other Lydia Ray stories, the fantastic did really happen. I mentioned in another dossier that I had a line to describe what the stories with this character have in common, and that is: Inner as outer. The pandemic worries of Lydia materialize in the weird apparitions she meets.
Additionally, the glasses exchange is this story’s version of “walking in someone else’s shoes”, a symbol of the brief look into the alternate choice they got. The fact that Lydia gets a new haircut in the end is maybe a small reward: a renewal. Hairstyling as a sign of self-care is something you might hear about in salons all around the world, I’m sure.
Regarding the real life job I passed on, I had the rare opportunity to know what would have happened. I happen to know the person who ended up on the job, and he told me about it, later. The project got cancelled only a few weeks in, because its funds got cut. So, in a way, I got to see the parallel life, and for once my gut was right. I had averted a very stressful situation. (And in case you are wondering, he’s also ok. He found a good new job).
Glimpses of the multiverse?
I think we need to be forgiving with ourselves around these matters. The choices and small changes put in front of us are far too many to keep tabs on all of them, like a Choose your Adventure book so big, we lack fingers to hold the pages and retrace our way. (This is a vintage metaphor, I know.) I think this tone of acceptance is what’s behind the story and the calm way it unfolds, literally like a walk in the park.
References
Just like in the previous stories with this character, her clothing style is, in part, 90s inspired.
I noticed later that was a backwards skirt that Pj Harvey is wearing on the photo
For the unnamed city where Lydia lives, I wanted to have areas with architecture from different eras and a wavy terrain, basically backgrounds that were fun for me to draw. There’s an older area where the hair salon is, and weird small streets with the exhaust fans in sight (inspired by pictures of small streets in Japan) for the sector of bars and cafés.
But too much local charm is distracting in a fantasy tale, so it was better that the downtown areas where the clinic and the park are looked more like open spaces, and rather generic.
Head Canon
Speculation, other possibilities.
There was a previous version of this story that mutated into this one: in it, Lydia starts having impostor syndrome when she finds some good reviews of her work, later she realizes there’s an actual impostor doing her work. There’s a goofy chase in silent film style, and a final fusion of the two at the hands of a mad scientist, in a machine inspired by Metropolis. Finally, when she gets a mediocre review of new work, she finds peace again.
It is all a dream, after all. A fantasy, voiced over in the style of the expressionist silent movies she’d like to use as reference in her decoration job. The good news is that she made her peace with the dilemma, got a new haircut and some fine new glasses.
Each one of the Lydias meet, at some point in the future, one of the Percivals from the one of the previous Lydia Ray stories: Outside. They become friends. Each Percival is aware of the things that happen to the others, so they become a bridge between the different realities of Lydia.
****
I hope you enjoyed these notes. If you got this far, please leave a like, comment, or feel free to contribute to the headcanon as you wish.
Thanks once again to all patrons, and welcome, new subscribers! Your support makes the Secret Knots stories possible. Thank you very much.
Juan.
